Why the social media “ban” doesn't work, what teens think and how to protect their mental health

Three months in, many parents are wondering what all the noise even was about: so far, the social media "ban" for under 16s seems to have had little to no impact at all on children and teens that already were on those platforms before the law was introduced. Is it even working for anyone? And aren’t the social media platforms introducing measures such as teen accounts or parent alerts that keep younger users safe without needing to block them?

How effective are the social media age restrictions (so far)?

• As expected, the law has proven helpful for parents of children that weren’t on social media yet before it came into effect. It provides a so much stronger argument for parents (“It’s the law”).

• On the other hand, there's no to very limited impact for kids/teens already on social media: according to a new study from New Zealand, 8 out of 10 kids remain active on social media. Some got kicked out while their friends weren’t, briefly making it worse for those getting blocked… but most get around it anyway:

  • They're bypassing the restrictions by creating new accounts, using parent/sibling details, manipulating age checks (friend’s drivers, cheat facial recognition), using VPNs (connections that disguise your actual location) etc.

  • Browsing without an account or shifting to other/new platforms that aren’t regulated (yet). It’ll become a “whack the mole” game for the government.

  • Many parents are disappointed as they had hoped their children/teens and friends would all lose access and that would solve the biggest part of the problem. I’m disappointed the government hasn’t done anything to enforce the law yet. Although a $50m fine is insignificant for those firms, it would be a signal.

• It’s too early (and too little effective) to measure any effects on youth mental health at this stage. This will require much longer observation timelines and for the restrictions to actually work.

Would I call it a failure? No.

Or at least: not yet. It’s still early days. We knew it wouldn’t be perfect: the law was pushed through pretty quickly, due to the “digital emergency” situation that hits our young people the hardest. However, I'm a bit disappointed just how little effect it has so far and how hesitant the government is to enforce it. The eSafety Commissioner started an in-depth evaluation of the regulation and will publish results later this year. Governments take time.

• A blanket ban might not have been the best way to do it. Still, new research is proving it again and again: social media and smartphones have detrimental effects on young people’s mental health [1]. Full stop.

• I think we’re at a global turning point. More than a dozen countries across the globe from France and Indonesia to Lebanon are following Australia’s bold lead and are introducing or considering similar laws right now. This is because the disastrous effects on children and young adults have become impossible to ignore all over the world. Other countries might find different or more effective ways than a blanket ban, and maybe we'll all learn from each other.

• In Australia, we’re at crisis level with a rate of:

  • Almost 4 in 10 children/teens experiencing mental health disorders. Of course there are complex contributors to any mental health issue. However, social media and smartphones have been found to be not just correlated but a cause, especially with regards to anxiety, depression, self-harm, various eating disorders and addiction.

  • 1 in 4 girls shows "problematic use" of social media. That means addiction. That's very serious, and a rate of 25% is too high. (Read more about why social media generally affects girls differently to boys).

[1] Note: A number of the studies denying or downplaying the negative link between social media and mental health have since been discredited as incorrect or not representative by researchers. Some of them were actually funded by Big Tech companies.

What are the teens themselves saying about it?

I just read about the latest research outcomes from the University of Auckland (NZ) who recently surveyed 530 teenagers (13-17 years):

• 90% use social media; 75% are online constantly or several times a day and 60% spend 3-6 hours on socials per day

• 4 in 10 teens said:

  • they had started too early and wished social media had never been invented

  • they tried to spend less time on their phones but failed

  • used social media to escape from negative feelings

  • ignored other activities because they wanted to be on socials

• 2 in 10 teens show “problematic use” (= addiction) of social media. For teen girls, however, it’s 1 in 4!

Almost half of all teens were in support (!) of the age restrictions and another quarter of them was neutral; only 25% opposed the law. I didn’t expect that.

Why are we parents allowing our kids to be on socials then, or even helping them get around the age restrictions?

Excellent question. It's crazy. But: How could we have known?!

• We thought social networks create social connection! We didn’t know about the negative short- and long-term effects on our kids. And many parents still aren’t aware of the harms (I’m working on that!). It’s a bit like how cigarettes were recommended to expecting mothers as a calming aid before we realised decades later this wasn’t such a good idea. It takes time to prove the effects of something harmful.

• Whilst “everyone else” is on socials, it’s very hard to make your kid the exception without them suffering other consequences of social exclusion. I encourage parents to be brave, to talk and to stick together – you’ll see you’re not the only ones concerned or struggling with this. When others in the class or circle of friends aren’t on their phones/social media it’s much easier for your child/teen.

• It seems so OK and so normal that everyone is staring at a screen rather than talking to each other now. That teens spend an average of 4 hours on their phones per day (that’s 28 hours a week – like working a 3.5 days/wk job)! Except this activity doesn’t generate money (except for the BigTech companies) and causes harm that will cost a lot more. For developing brains this is disastrous.

What parents can do now:

• We all want our kids and teens to thrive in this world! To be happy, physically and mentally healthy, connected to friends and family, educated, and equipped for life. Research confirms that smartphones and social media have a detrimental effect on all of these goals. This is helpful to know as a parent – you’re on the right track.!

• Don’t wait for BigTech to solve this problem for you. They have no interest in doing so, or they could’ve done it long ago. It’s against any traditional business’ primary goal, which is to maximise profits. They’ll continue to provide little "fixes" to delay real change (like Instagram recently introducing parent alerts for when a teen searches up a term like “suicide” multiple times…). They could instead remove the algorithms that funnel harmful content to our children, take this very content off their platform in the first place, or stop using addictive design elements.

• Don’t wait for the government to “get it right” either. Technology moves fast and legislation doesn’t.

• Please don’t encourage your kids to be on socials under the age of 16 by helping them get access. Instead, talk openly with them about the impacts you’ve learned about and work out alternative ways to connect with their friends.

• I suggest letting tweens and teens do some research together with you or by themselves (start with websites mentioned below). It’s empowering for teens to understand how they’re being manipulated and their attention used for generating huge profits and what they can do to stay balanced. Encourage them to discuss their findings with you and /or their friends and to re-evaluate what they’re doing online. Due to the addictive nature of social media, they need support, not criticism.

• I also encourage you to stand your ground and delay giving your child a smartphone until at least the age of 14 or 15. It’s GREAT for their mental health! There are many smartphone alternatives that still keep them safe and communicating with you and their friends. I have described these in detail in this blog article.

• Encourage your child or teen to check out the resources on eSafety as well as Headspace, the Kids Helpline and ReachOut. They offer great information and support in separate sections for parents and young people.

• And lastly: If you dare, check your own smartphone usage today (using the screentime report). It’s almost guaranteed you’ll be surprised just HOW much time you spend on your device and on which apps. We are role models and we’re the biggest influencers for our children. It’s a great opportunity to start a chat with your young person about your insights. Upside: Reducing social media and time on your phone will improve your own mood and mental health! Proven by science. 😊

The key is that they feel supported by you! You don't have to have all the answers. You’re their trusted partner helping them work through this challenge - together.

I hope this information is useful for navigating this changing environment with your child or teen. Please send through any questions you might have!

If you’re unsure of where to start or if you feel concerned about your child’s or teen’s usage of or attachment to their phone or social media, please feel free to contact me - I’m always happy to help.

Till next time!

Much love,

Anke x